Something is not quite right...

Let me begin by saying that I love our little apartment. It's cozy, finally looks how I want it, and most things have found a way to be organized. I love living there and being there with my husband. It really is great.

Downside - serious lack of insulation. Serious. There's a place on the floor where, if you set your feet about a foot and a half apart, you can tell where the basement and the apartment below us divide. How? One foot is merely cold, the other foot is frigid to the point of frostbite.

Another favorite spot we have recently discovered is the back door. We don't really use it much and it's basically just another part of the wall that we don't pay much attention to. However, it came glaringly into our vision the other night when Nate noticed that the bottom part of it looks like the inside of a freezer you haven't cleaned in awhile. Yep. At least a half inch of frosty ice on the piece of metal at the bottom.

The plastic sheeting over the old windows is foggy most days and the new windows have ice on the inside.

The furnace can't keep a constant temperature to save its life and the little space heater is trying desperately to make up the difference. Not working out so well but it's sure trying.

All told, we spend most of our time in several layers and wrapped in blankets. At night, we pull the space heater into the bedroom, crank the heat up to 70 in a last ditch effort before turning it back down and then close the door behind us. A new TV and VCR provide reason enough to retire early and the chance to be warm for a bit is incredibly enticing. We've even fortified one window with a spare blanket and used another two as thick rugs on top of the carpet.

It's an adventure and a good topic to blog about. I don't really mind all that much. It's when I can't feel two of my toes even after wearing socks and slippers all day that sort of gets to me.

Christmas for real

It was good!

:)

The sparkle wasn't like it used to be, but I truly enjoyed our first married Christmas. All of the presents were wrapped and waiting, parties were planned and attended, the apartment was cleaned.... it was all lovely. We even got a song message from the party people in Pennsylvania. I think that may have been one of the moments that made it really feel like Christmas. Made me cry a little bit too.

It's still strange not being at my parents house this year but I find that I don't really mind. We had a good time with Leilani and her family on Christmas Eve - even got some presents. Really wasn't expecting that one. And Christmas morning was lovely. A little too relaxed and rushed at the end but not enough to make it bad. We got up late, opened wonderful presents, cleaned up and got on the road. The Squires adopted us for the day so we had lunch with them and then spent the rest of the day loafing. It was very relaxing.

And now I'm at work. Only one lady has come in so far and I rather doubt anyone else is going to come. It's the day after Christmas!!! I don't really know why we're open in the first place - no one else is. Regular opening time too. Bah. I'm getting paid so I'll not complain too much. Have to eat somehow!

:)

So we hang around here for the rest of the week and then head back East. Out of this icy flatland and back to hilly scenery for two more Christmas days. Not a bad plan really. We'll end up with five Christmas's altogether and that is not at all bad. Nope! We get to have our own time together and make new traditions and still be taken care of by parents. Best of both worlds.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Christmas? Really?

It doesn't feel like Christmastime. The concert last night and the concert Friday night didn't work, changing the background here didn't work, and the complete lack of snow certainly isn't helping. Even my little decorated apartment isn't cluing me in. Perhaps the lack of a tree is influencing as well. Is Christmas really next week?

I'm not sure I believe it.

Remember Christmas as a kid? All of the sparkle and anticipation. Parties and decorations, staying up late, hot chocolate and cookies, listening as closely as you could when you fell asleep to hear those bells.

Growing up is a funny thing. I love working. I love having our own little place and making sure that everything is as it should be. As close as it can be anyway. :) I love having meetings and grocery shopping and cleaning and all of the things that make us grown ups.

But.....

I wonder if that has something to do with this feeling. I wonder if all of that hides the sparkle I usually see this time of year.

Mission: find the sparkle again. Really look for it. Show it to others. Make it come back.

This post seems a bit sentimental and overly nostalgic bordering on cliche but it certainly isn't intended that way. I really do want it all back.

I think I'll plan on listening for those bells again. No matter where we find ourselves on Christmas Eve.

a non-post

I don't find myself in a particularly "blog-y" mood but changing my background while still having a post about fall just didn't work for me either. Here's a few updates just for kicks:

-We've had several snowfalls already though once December came, the snow left and the temperature climbed. Very strange.
-I love my work! I love working with all of the groups that come in. Trying to get handprints from the babies is another favorite. They're so adorable.
-Our little place is all decorated for Christmas. I had just enough to make the whole place pretty and I love it. Perhaps I'll remember my camera one of these times and I'll post some new photos in here. My favorite feature is our wreath in place of a tree. I very much wish we could have a tree but we just don't have room. Next year!
-I don't know if we'll be going home for Christmas this year. Nate wasn't able to ask off work since everyone else already had. We might get lucky again and be able to leave last minute but there's no telling. That's sure to go over well with my parents.

All in all, life is so good. I love my husband. I love using the word "husband." We have a lot of our friends here though we miss the ones that are elsewhere. Stephanie is here! Just for the day but it's better than nothing.

Hooray for friends.

Wisps of Memories

I think autumn came today. The sky is full of cold clouds racing overhead. The wind has arrived with gusto and insists on blowing any girls hair into whipped frenzy. Colors have started to appear on trees and a few leaves have made their way into piles on the ground.

Walking along with my hair twirling about my face, I caught a scent of something ever so briefly. It was like a memory sitting on the edge and trying to dive into the now. The moment ended quickly and left me wondering what it was that had crossed by me and my little nose. I suppose I won't ever really know but I am now flooded with memories. Fall memories. My favorites.

Raking piles of leaves in the backyard to jump in but stopping that activity as soon as I realized those leaves weren't soft pillows
Pulling out the box of sweaters for the first time that season
Wrapping up in a puffy vest, scarf and my sweet hat for a stroll about the village
Football games with the band playing and eating pizza from the best shop in town
Coming home to find fall themed cookies decorating our dining table
Bonfires
Apple cider with caramel
Hot chocolate with marshmallows
A trip to Chicago with wonderful friends
Walking to work every day
Apple pie
Surprising Nate and touring Greenville

I love fall. It's almost absolutely my favorite season. Now I really need to get my hands on some apple cider.
Yum.

Settingling in

We moved!!!!!!

Just last Thursday, Nate and I moved into our first apartment. It's little, cute and slightly cramped but I love it. I love being in my own home. I love that our landlady let us paint. I love that I can put up our artwork. I can host parties and have people over. I can make dinner for just the two of us. I can even clean my own home!! Who knew you could be excited about that?

The best part of this whole thing - we aren't in South Carolina.

Nope.

We moved to Winona Lake.

Yep.

Winona Lake. It felt like coming home when we were driving up. Even though those cornfields are still as flat as can be, it still felt right coming here. My friends are here. Good memories are here. Winter will be awful I'm sure, but this is still the best place to be.

The crazy part is that this switch happened in less than a week. It took one day of talking the subject over to change the listings we were looking in, another two days to find the perfect situation for us and another two days for our application to be accepted. Our new direction seemed to be fairly obvious as we had just spent a month looking in the Carolinas and hadn't managed to find a thing.

So here we are. Moving in. Working to make everything fit. Enjoying being with the wonderful people here. Living.

It's good.

We're home.

Nesting

That's what they call it when a new mom is waiting to give birth. She gets the nursery ready, reads all of the books, takes the classes and talks to everyone she can to get ready for her new arrival.

What do you call it when you desperately want a home? How do you get ready? How do you prepare when you find yourself in limbo?

We have no home and few options. A good one just came through today and I hope the follow-up works out. The last few weeks have been discouraging. Lots of looking and calling and making lists but nothing seems to pan out.

The end of this particular tunnel may be coming into view but it's still fuzzy and far-off. I have a pile of belongings sitting in Western Pennsylvania just waiting. Just sitting. Gathering dust. All of those presents are states away from where they should be.

I just want to set up my home. That's all.